


I Should (Not) Give Up

by PoshNoah



Category: D.Gray-man, Fairy Tail
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Family, Friendship, Memories, Memory Loss, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recovered Memories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2018-10-25 01:12:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10753635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoshNoah/pseuds/PoshNoah
Summary: He woke up with no recollection of life. Taken in by a cheerful guild, he searches his mind for the broken pieces of his memories, discovering things that would break most men. But no matter what horrors he found within his foggy brain, he would not give up. He would never stop, he had to keep walking.





	1. Good morning Red

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not exactly sure why I thought of this story. I'm not the biggest fan of Fairy Tail and it isn't exactly the best mix with D.Gray-Man. But hey I'm surprisingly enjoying myself while making this! And I plan to see it through till the end.

Darkness clouded every inch of his mind.  
He scavenged every nook and cranny of his brain but he found very little. What he did find was only fragments, not even a quarter of the bigger picture.

‘What's going on? What's happening?’ Thoughts such as this flooded his mind.

“Hey… He’s...”

He heard murmurs and whispers above him. He attempted to reach the surface of the murky water flooding his head, and hear what the murmurs were saying.

“Waking… Hurry… He’s…”

He swam through his mind. The voices were becoming more and more understandable by the second. He was so close!

“Hello!? Hellooooo?!”

He could now hear loud and clear. And what he heard was someone basically yelling into his ear. He shoved the one who was causing such a nuisance away from him, and cracked his eyes open. The light of the outside world burned his eyeballs upon opening. He lifted up his hand to block the blinding light from torturing his retinas any further.

“Wow! That arm really is weird looking!” Exclaimed a boyish voice.

“I'm glad you've finally awoken! I was worried you would never wake up.” Said a much more feminine voice.

His eyes creaked open, enduring the pain of the air hitting his dry eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but only a groan escaped his lips. He started to cough from how parched his throat was. As if on que, a little girl with long blue hair ran towards him with a glass of water. He gladly took the glass from her and guzzled it down.

“Are you okay mister?” The little girl asked, looking at him with wide eyes.

He opened his mouth to speak and this time he actually managed to talk. “I feel fine, thank you.” He smiled at the girl.

“Are you sure?” Asked a red haired woman. “Your wounds were pretty bad. There’s bound to be some more damage.”

He just blinked at the woman. “Wounds?” Then it dawned on him. ‘I don't even know where I am!’ He thought to himself. ‘I was just… Doing something… Then I was here.’ His mind wandered, and so did his eyes as he scanned the room and everyone in it.

There was six people gathered around him. The little blue haired girl, the tall red haired woman, a blonde girl who looked slightly younger than the redhead, a pink haired boy who was most likely the one yelling into his ear earlier, an old woman with pink hair, and a little old man. They all appeared to be gathered in a room full of medical supplies.

“Where am I? Who are you people?” He asked, looking at each one of them.

“Now, now, no need to fret child.” The old man spoke up. “You're safe here. You're currently in the emergency room of the Fairy Tail guild hall. We found you unconscious and covered in wounds, so we brought you here to heal you. You've been in a coma for around a month now.” 

The boy’s eyes widened at this. “A month! But how did I…” He trailed off mid sentence and held his head with his left hand.

“Now how about you tell us a bit about yourself? It's the least you can do for us after we've taken care of you, young man.” The old man stated with a smile.

The boy looked at the elderly man for a second, trying to find some sort of information to tell. But no matter how hard he searched his mind, no memory of himself was found. Or memories of anything else for that matter. His head was a foggy mess.

“Well? Cat got your tongue?” The old man said playfully.

He finally spoke up. “I… I don't know sir. I don't know anything that I could tell you.” He said, still holding his head.

The elderly man nodded in understanding. “Then it seems you're really not alright. Considering how badly your head was injured, you would've had a major concussion. So memory loss is understandable.”

“But I… I can't recall anything! My name, my age, my… My…” The boy started breathing heavily, he was beginning to panic.

“Now now!” Called the old pink haired woman from across the room. “Calm down, you don't want to hyperventilate now you brat!” She scoffed at him.

The pink haired boy who had just been staring at the other until now spoke up. “So if you don't remember anything then I guess you can't tell us anything about your creepy looking arm?” Asked the pink haired boy.

He shook his head and frowned. “I'm afraid not.”

“Aw man! And I was all excited too!” The other huffed.

“Natsu don't try and make the poor guy feel bad!” The blonde girl scolded the boy named Natsu. She turned to him and smiled. “I'm sorry about him. He can be kind of rude sometimes, but he means well.” She extended her hand out to him. “My names Lucy! It's nice to meet you!” She grinned at him.

He shook her hand with his left, and only then did he realize just how grotesque looking his own arm was. It was scaly and red, it looked as though it were twisted and veiny, his nails were black, and he had a glowing green cross shaped object in his hand.

“I'm sorry!” Cried the blue haired girl. “I don't have any spells that can cure amnesia!” She sniffled.

“Oh uh it's okay! Don't cry! It's fine really!” He tried to calm her down so she wouldn't cry.

“Well…” The redhead started. “We're going to have to call you something, any suggestions on what your name should be for now?”

He thought for a moment. “I don't really know.” He frowned to himself.

“How about we tell him our names first.” The blonde named Lucy suggested.

“Alright!” Exclaimed the pink haired boy. “I'm Natsu Dragneel!”

“I'm Wendy Marvell!” Stated the little girl.

“I'm Erza Scarlet!” Claimed the redhead.

“I'm Makorov Dryer.” Said the old man.

“I'm Porlyusica.” Grunted the old woman.

“And I'm Lucy Heartfillia! But I already told you that!” The girl chirped.

“O-okay.” The boy stuttered, looking down at his strange red hand. He thought on what to call himself. He thought and thought until something just right popped into his head.

“Sir Komlin the third!” He exclaimed with great vigor in his voice.

The others weren't exactly impressed with the name. “Umm how about something a little more simple, and less weird ok?” Lucy told him.

“Oh, okay.” He stopped to think again.

“How about Red?” Natsu spoke up. Everyone turned to look at him. “Well I mean his arm is red, and that weird scar on his face is red! So why not?”

Lucy looked at Natsu disapprovingly. “You can't just name other people on a whim like tha-”

“I like that!” The boy interrupted. “Red… It just has a nostalgic feel to it!” He claimed.

Lucy blinked, “Alright then, Red it is!” She rubbed the back of her head and smiled sheepishly.

Later that day Red was up and out of bed. Walking around the guild hall, he decided to find the nearest bathroom. He needed to use the toilet and he wanted to see a mirror. He wasn't exactly sure what his own face looked like, and he was rather excited to find out. He stopped a shirtless man with raven hair walking by, and asked him for the directions to the bathroom. The man pointed down the hallway and Red thanked him. Once he got there and did his business, Red looked in the mirror as he washed his hands.

“Is that really me?” He asked no one in particular. He had snow white hair that went down to his shoulders, pale skin, large silver eyes, a roundish face that he seemed to be growing out of, and a large, red, oddly shaped scar, going down his face and over his left eye. At the top of the scar there was a sinister, red, pentacle.

Red dried his hands and left the bathroom, hoping to meet some of the others who were in the building. There was a muffled sound of people chatting, glass’ clinking together, excited cheering, and happy noises all around. So Red followed the sound and walked through a door that led into a large area. There were people all around having a good time. People were drinking, talking, and playfully fighting! Well at least Red hoped it was playful fighting.

A white haired woman at the counter noticed Red standing there and waved at him. “Ah I see you're up and about now! How about you sit down! I'll get you something to drink!”

Red walked over to the counter and sat down. On the way over there he noticed that quite a few people were staring at him.

“So you're Red right? My name's Mirajane! What can I get you?” Mira asked politely.

Red thought for a moment. “Food… Lots of food.” He said, feeling his stomach growl.

“Ok well what kind of food then?” Mira asked again.

“Everything.” Red stated bluntly.

“...Everything?” Mira asked, put off slightly by this.

Red nodded, “Everything on the menu!”

“Ok then! You must be hungry!” Mira just accepted the odd request and started making every item on the menu.

“Oh uh, but no alcohol please!” Red added. He didn't really like the idea of being drunk and memory-less.

“Alrighty!” Mira replied.

While Red waited for his food, a few people walked up to him. One girl, three men, and a cat. One was a short girl with sky blue hair, another was a fat man with black hair, there was also a tall man with orange hair, and behind them was a tall, muscular, man with long, black, hair. He was covered in piercings, and he had a black cat on his shoulder.

“Hey there!” The blue haired girl greeted. “I'm Levy! Lucy’s told me a bit about you! Amnesia huh? I've always wondered what it'd be like to have no memory. She also said you have a weird arm! Can I see?!” Spoke the girl named Levy.

Red just looked at her for a second, a little startled that she just immediately started asking him stuff. “Uh… Sure… Here.” He lifted up his left arm so she and the men behind her could see.

Her eyes glittered in awe. “Wow! Lu sure wasn't exaggerating! It really is strange! Oh not to be rude though!” She smiled at him with sincerity. “These guys behind me are Jet, Droy, Gajeel, and Lily!” She said, pointing at each of them as she listed their names.

Red smiled, “I'm Red! It's nice to meet you! Everyone here’s been really nice to me so far. I feel bad that I can't really do anything to repay you guys for such kindness.” Red looked down and frowned.

The muscular one named Gajeel spoke up. “Don't sweat it kid. This guild prides itself on helping people in need. Even when they're total pieces of crap like me.” He smirked while looking at the boy.

Red nodded, “Well I can't thank you enough! But even so I feel that I should at least help out somehow.”

Levy grabbed Red’s hand again and looked at the glowing cross embedded into it. “Well I want to research what this thing is! I wonder if it's some sort of lacrima! If so then you might have magic! And you could join the guild and go on jobs! That's one way to help out!” She exclaimed.

Red beamed, “Really?! Magic?! I could have magic powers?!” He asked excitedly.

“What, do you not remember magic either?” Levy giggled. “Yep you might have some sort of magic! That magic of yours could also explain why your arm looks like this!”

“Alright! We'll get right to researching then! ...After I eat of course!” And as Red said this, Mirajane placed a mountain of food in front of the boy.

“Enjoy!” Mira chirped.

Red drooled over the mountain.

“Are you really going to eat all that?” Jet asked, sounding rather concerned.

“Of course I am! Just watch me!” Red scoffed. He then proceeded to shovel the many different foods into his mouth.

It took maybe half an hour, but in such a short time, all of it was gone.

“That was delicious!” Sighed Red. “You're a very good cook miss Mirajane!” He complimented the lady.

“Why thank you!” She giggled.

Jet, Droy, Levy, Gajeel, and Pantherlily just stared in shock. ‘He ate so much!’ They all thought.

“Well! Time to check out my arm right?” Red asked, looking at Levy.

The girl just nodded, still having a look of shock on her face.

“Well let's go then! So where are we going?” Red looked at her questioningly. 

Levy snapped out of her state of awe and directed Red to the library.

When they got to the library Levy turned to the three men and cat. “Okay! I need any books on Lacrima and imbedded magics! Pronto!” She ordered.

They all spread out and searched the bookshelves. Even the cat, who oddly enough grew wings and flew around.

Red stood in the middle of them all and looked around helplessly. “Umm, what can I do for now?” He asked. 

Levy turned away from the shelf she was currently searching through and looked at Red. “You just wait patiently for now! Me and the guys will find tons of books soon enough! And I can search through them quickly with my wind-reader glasses!” She told him, then turned back to the shelf.

“Oh, ok.” Red sat down at a table and waited patiently. Until eventually someone came running into the room. It was Wendy, and as she ran in she tripped over her own feet and was about to take a tumble down the staircase.

“Wendy!” Red yelled. 

Everyone's heads whipped around to see what was happening.

Red had already started running towards her. He stretched out his arms to catch her but he just wasn't going to make it.

“GAAHH!” He yelled as a sharp pain shot through his left arm. And when Red looked up he saw that he had successfully caught Wendy. But it seemed he was only able to do so because his arm had miraculously changed! It was now much larger, and pitch black. It had huge claws that were now wrapped around the little girl.

“Red! What happened to your arm!” Levy shouted.

“I-I don't know!” He shouted back.

“It's it obvious!” Gajeel snickered. “He got his magic to work!”

“Uum… Mister Red, thank you for catching me! But do you think you could put me down now?” Wendy asked sheepishly.

“Oh, sorry about that!” Red put her down gently.

“Amazing!” Droy exclaimed. “It looks like you have some kind of takeover magic!”

Red looked down at his transformed arm. He felt like he should be happy, but something seemed to be missing. “I can't put my finger on it. But I feel like there's more than this.” He stated looking at the large claws.

“I'm sorry to interrupt!” Wendy stammered. “But Master wants to see you mister Red!”


	2. The Monster Of The Gravestone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He cried and cried, sitting before a grave of someone very dear to him. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a horrific being.  
> Fragments of the past are returning in small, painful, doses.

“Hmm? He wants to see me? But what for?” Red asked, looking at the little girl.

Wendy shook her head. “I don't know but he told me to come and get you!”

Red looked at Levy and the others. “But what about the research? And my arm? I don't know how to make it go back to normal!”

“Don't worry! I can continue the research without you. And it's best that you just leave your arm as it is ok!” Levy assured him.

“Okay if you say so.” Red shrugged and followed Wendy out of the room.

They walked up to Master Makarov and waited for him to speak. The old man looked up at Red, then looked at Red’s arm. He sighed “So you already activated your magic huh?” The old man murmured.

“Uh what did you call me here for? Sir?” Red asked, feeling a little uneasy.

The elder looked at him and spoke. “How would you like to join the guild?” He asked.

Red was taken aback. “Well I-uh…” He thought for a moment. “I would like to, but I don't really have control over this magic of mine.”

Makarov nodded, “My boy, I could tell from the moment those kids brought you into the guildhall that you had some strange energy coming from you. Being in a guild is a great way to develop those powers of yours.”

Red looked down at his arm, the back at the Master. “How do I join?” He asked.

The old man smiled. “Right this way!” He led the boy towards a counter, then took out what looked like an object. “Where would you like your guild mark? And what colour would you like?”

Red thought for a moment before deciding. “I'd like it on the back of my right hand. And I want it to be white!”

Makarov pressed the object where Red wanted his mark. When he removed it, there was a white fairy stamped onto the back of Red’s hand.

“So am I done then? Am I a part of the guild?” Red asked.

“Yes my boy! I'll have you go on your first mission tomorrow! I'll get a few other wizards to go with you of course!” Stated the Master.

Red smiled and nodded.

“In the meantime you should get to know some of the the other guild members. I think you'll find they're all quite unique!” The old man chuckled.

And with that Red walked away. Looking around at some of the people in the guildhall. It didn't take long for a certain familiar pink haired boy to approach him, with a flying blue cat trailing behind him.

“So you joined the guild huh Red!” Natsu exclaimed, he then swung his arm around the white haired boy. “C’mon! You can come hang out with us! You already know Lucy, Erza, and Wendy! Let's go!” Natsu then proceeded to drag Red towards a table that some familiar faces, along with some new ones, were sitting at. “Hey guys! I brought Red here with me! He just joined the guild!”

“Welcome to the family Red!” Erza smiled at him.

A raven haired guy who was shirtless waved at him. “Hey you're that kid I met in the hallway right?! Didn't know you were joining the guild!” The man smiled. “I'm Gray Fullbuster by the way.”

“This is the guy me and Natsu found on our mission a month ago!” Lucy added.

“Really?” Gray was taken aback. “Well glad that you recovered then! I heard you got seriously hurt!”

Red nodded, “Yeah, I can't remember anything either. So excuse me if there's some things I need explained.” The boy smiled at the group. He noticed that Wendy had also arrived and sat down next to Erza. There was also another blue haired girl sitting next to Gray. “And who are you?” Red asked.

“I'm Juvia! It's unfortunate that you've lost your memory mister Red. Juvia feels very sorry for you.” Stated Juvia with a frown on her face.

“Well thanks for your concern!” Red said politely. ‘How odd, why is she talking in first person? Well she seems nice anyway.’ He thought to himself.

“So what kind of magic do you have anyway?” Lucy asked.

Red lifted up his left arm which was still in its transformed state. “Well my arm changed. So that's something, but I'm still trying to figure out what the rest of it might be. Levy’s researching it right now.”

Erza peered at Red’s arm. “Well it certainly looks way different from before. Can you change it back?” She asked.

Red shook his head.

“Hmm…” Erza contemplated for a second. “Well no matter! How about we show you around Mongolia!” She exclaimed. But she gave Red no time to answer, as she grabbed his right hand and dragged him out of the guildhall. Lucy, Natsu, Gray, Juvia, and Wendy followed behind.

Red was now following behind Erza as she explained some of the history of the town. Red stopped her mid sentence to ask something.

“Hey Erza? What magic do all of you guys have?” He asked.

Erza turned around to look at him. “My magic is known as Requip! It allows me to change my weapons and armor at will!”

Gray was next to speak, “I have Ice Make magic! I can make any inanimate object out of ice!”

Natsu pushed Gray out of the way, “I'm a Fire Dragon Slayer! I have fire spells that have the power to slay dragons!”

Wendy piped up, “I'm a Dragon Slayer too! I'm a Sky Dragon Slayer!”

Then Lucy, “I'm a Celestial Spirit Mage! I can use my gate keys to summon spirits!”

And lastly Juvia, “Juvia is a rain woman! Juvia’s whole body is made out of water! Juvia can also fight using a variety of water spells!” 

Red’s eyes glittered in wonder. “That's so cool! I wish I knew what my arm did…”

“HEY YOU FORGOT ABOUT US!” Yelled a high pitched voice. The suddenly the blue cat that had been flying behind Natsu appeared in front of Red. Then behind the blue cat appeared a white cat.

“THE CAT CAN TALK?!” Red shouted it surprise.

“Of course we can talk!” Scoffed the white cat. “I am Carla! And the tom cat there is named Happy.”

“Aye!” Cheered the blue cat.

Red just stared at them and blinked for a moment. He didn't really know what to say.

“Well don't just stand there gaping like a fool!” Carla scolded him. “We are Exceeds! Our magic is called Aira, it's what gives us our wings!” She explained.

“W-wow! You cats are pretty cool!” Red exclaimed. He really didn't know what else he could say to talking, flying, cats.

They all continued to show Red around the town. He even got Happy to pick him up and fly around with him. Now the sun was starting to set and they all arrived back at the guild hall.

“Well I'm beat!” Lucy yawned. “See you all tomorrow then!”

“Wait Lucy.” Erza commanded the blonde. “Red can't stay at the guildhall forever. He needs somewhere to spend the night.” The redhead got a sinister glint in her eye.

Lucy looked at her with a rather frightened expression. “You mean…”

Erza nodded, “I think we should all join you!” She cheered.

“Yeah! Slumber party at Lucy’s house!” Exclaimed Happy.

“WWHHHYYY!” Cried Lucy.

They all ran to Lucy’s apartment dragging Red there the whole way. Once they arrived Lucy laid down some ground rules.

“Red gets the couch to himself since he needs the rest the most! Nobody gets to read my book!” she then glared at everyone there, “No ruining my curtains!” She shot a glare at Happy, “And no stripping!” She shot an extra sinister glare at Gray.

“Thank you for letting me stay here Lucy!” Red thanked the girl.

“Oh no need to be so polite Red! Everyone just barges in here anyway without permission. So it'll be nice to have someone here with manners! Besides Wendy of course!” Lucy smiled at Red.

“Also I apologize in advance it my claws scratch the couch while I sleep.” Red looked down at his still mutated hand.

“It's fine! It's fine! Now get some sleep! You have a big day tomorrow! Your first ever mission!” Lucy cheered.

Red nodded and curled up on the couch. He then pulled a blanket over him and closed his eyes.

Once the others were sure Red was asleep, they huddled together and whispered to each other. 

“I can't help but worry what that poor boy’s been through.” Lucy started.

“He was super messed up when we found him! Do you think someone’s out to get him?” Natsu added.

“Well it doesn't matter now. We’ll protect him right Natsu!” Happy spoke with hushed excitement.

“Something about the magic in his arm feels strange? Could it be lost magic perhaps?” Erza inquired.

“He says he can't remember anything. So let's just hope he wasn't involved in anything too shady.” Gray stated.

“When I was healing him he had a huge cross shaped scar on his chest that I couldn't heal. I can't heal the scar of his face either. There's something strange about them for sure.” Wendy told them with concern in her voice.

“What in the heavens could that boy have been up to to get a scar shaped like that on his face?” Carla wondered.

“Let's just all hope this boy is ok. And if not its our job to protect him! Alright?” Claimed Erza.

“Right!” The others assured.

Meanwhile Red stirred in his sleep.

Red opened his eyes, not that he could really see, his eyes were so filled with tears that it made him incapable of seeing anything. He did his best to wipe the tears from his face. But the wetness from his tears also caused his brown hair to stick to his face and cover his eyes. So he was also having to brush his wet bangs away from his vision.

“Why’d you have to go.” Red sobbed. He was on his knees, crying his eyes out. He was able to wipe away enough tears and hair to get a glimpse of what was infront of him. There was a gravestone with words that he wasn't quite able to make out carved into it. He and the grave sat in front of a dead tree. The sky was blood red from the sunset, but instead of the sight being beautiful as sunsets normally were, this blood red sky only gave off a dreaded feeling of despair.

Suddenly Red removed his hands from his eyes as he came face to face with a strange looking man. The man was currently hunched over the gravestone. Red thought that this man looked odd, and rightfully so, as this man did not look even remotely human. He had oddly coloured skin, and a voluminous body. He wore small spectacles on the bridge of his large nose, and behind those glasses were two large golden eyes. He had long pointed ears, and teeth so big he couldn't close his mouth, he could only smile. Atop his head there was a tall top hat with decorations on it, and he wore a long tan coat with a green shirt underneath. He also had black pants, and pointy black shoes.

“Hello there child♥️!” Spoke the sweet voice of the odd man. “Would you like me bring M--- W----- back for you♥️? Don't you want to see him again♥️?”

Red stared at the man with tears in his eyes. “Can you… really do that? You can bring him back?” Red whimpered.

The man chuckled, “Of course! All you need to do is call out his name and he shall come back to you♥️! Now let's take him back from that fickle God♥️!” The man waved his hand and suddenly a strange metal skeleton appeared.

Red looked at the skeleton for a moment. “But… Will he really hear me?” Another tear rolled down his face.

The odd man just nodded and laughed cheerfully.

‘No…’

Red took a deep breath and got ready to call out for his soul. After all, what else did he have to lose?

‘No… Please, don't do it! You know what will happen!’

Red screamed out the name.

‘NO!’

A bolt of purple lightning crashed down and struck the skeleton.

‘NO YOU’VE DONE IT AGAIN YOU IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM AGAIN! DO YOU ENJOY WATCHING HIM SUFFER!’

A name imprinted itself upon the forehead of the skeleton.

‘No… That's right… You never wanted him to suffer at all…’

The skeleton began to move, and a small smile appeared on Red’s face. “It's really you…”

‘You would never hurt him…’

The skeleton spoke, “A---- is that you?...”

‘He meant everything to you…’

Red stretched his arms out to the skeleton expecting a hug. But the skeleton started to violently shake.

‘The only one you tried to hurt…’

“A---- what have you done! A---- YOU’VE TURNED ME INTO AN AKUMA!” Screamed the skeleton.

‘Was yourself… Wasn't it?’

“Now M--- W-----, I order you to kill this boy and wear his body as your own♥️!” Came the sickeningly sweet voice of the strange man.

‘Your life is one big regret after another…’

“I curse you…” the skeleton stood up and swung down its blade-like arm, slicing through the entire left side of Red’s face, even going through his eye.

‘And yet you don't stop, you just keep walking’

“I CURSE YOU A----!!!” Cried the skeleton. Red didn't scream, he just stared at the metallic structure in despair and let more tears roll down his face.

‘You really are self destructive, just a glutton for punishment. A true fool.’

Red’s left arm suddenly transformed, it became huge and white, simultaneously his once brown hair also became as white as snow. The huge arm grabbed the skeleton and threw it off of Red. This is when the strange man took his leave.

‘Maybe you should just give up.’

The arm started to drag Red towards the skeleton. This was when Red finally started screaming. “NO DON’T KILL HIM! DON’T KILL M---! F-----!!!!!!!!”

‘Maybe…’

“A----... Destroy me… A----”  
Red heard the voice of the skeleton call out to him. Suddenly Red’s left eye, the eye that the skeleton had slashed, became completely black. Glowing red circles appeared like a target on his eyeball. Red saw something disgusting appear above the skeleton. It wasn't disgusting because it was gross per say. But because of how much pain it looked to be in, it became hard to look at.

‘Just maybe…’

Red heard the skeleton speak again.

“A----... I love you…”

Red's hand wrapped around the skeleton and crushed it. Red screamed at the top of his lungs, hoping that in some sort of way his screaming would calm the pain and guilt he felt inside. But no amount of crying could quell the sorrow this avent had brought upon him. 

‘Maybe I should give up?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have a fairly good idea of what I'm going to do with this fanfic. So stay tuned! Also I kinda liked writing that ending bit with Red's subconscious talking back and fourth.


	3. An Unfamiliar Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wasn't too sure who he had been talking to, but it couldn't have been the first time they met. The soft voice of the "stranger" had spread a calming warmth through his mind and heart. When he had talked to the seemingly unfamiliar man, his clouded brain became clear for a brief moment. He felt as though the one he didn't recognize was the most important thing in the world.

Lucy shook the white haired boy has hard as possible. He had been talking and crying in his sleep. “WAKE UP RED!” 

“Maybe I should give up.” Red sobbed to himself.

“RED!” Lucy yelled at the boy. She had started to get really concerned for him an hour ago when he had started screaming in his sleep, now he just wouldn't stop weeping and muttering cryptic stuff.

The others stood around him, also rather concerned for his well being. Morning had just broken and around 3 hours ago they woke up and heard Red sobbing. They thought to just leave him alone, but then he started screaming so now they were extremely worried about him.

At last Red’s eyes snapped open and he shot upwards, screaming his lungs out. Lucy was quick to hug him tightly to try and calm him down.

“It's okay now Red. Don't worry, it was just a dream.” She assured him.

Red just went limp and allowed himself to be cradled. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause a ruckus.” He sniffled.

“It's ok Red. We were all just really worried about you!” Lucy looked at him with a soft smile.

Natsu was the first to speak up. “What was the dream about?” He asked.

Lucy whipped her head around to look glare at him. “Natsu! You shouldn't pry like that!” She chastised him.

Red pushed Lucy off of him. “No, it's fine, really. Actually this is good. The person in it was far to detailed to just be something my imagination fabricated on a whim. It's possible that the whole thing was a memory. Or at least parts of one.” Red smiled to himself. 

“Well that's good! Despite the fact that it didn't really seem to be a pleasant memory.” Stated Erza.

Red shook his head. “It was far from pleasant. But… I need to tell you about it… I need help! I want to find my all of my memories!” Red clenched his right hand into a fist. As his left hand was still mutated.

Lucy nodded, “Ok then tell us, what happened in your nightmare?”

Red cleared his throat and started by describing the odd man who appeared before him. And how he had been crying in front of a grave. But he couldn't read the name on it, or hear any names that were said for that matter. “The man spoke quite strangly too! He sounded as though he were patronizing me! It was downright unsettling!” Red told.

“Sounds like a real creep.” Stated Gray.

Red then described the offer that the stranger made to him. “It was to bring someone back to life. Most likely it was the person that the grave belonged to.” Red hung his head, the next part was a little harder to talk about. He described the skeleton and how calling out the name brought the soul back, and shoved that soul into the metal structure. “The skeleton cutting my face is what gave me this scar!” Red claimed as he pointed at the oddly shaped scar on his face. “And my magic arm activating for the first time caused my hair to turn white. It used to be a more brown colour.” He added. Red also described how the stranger disappeared, and how he saw the soul inside the skeleton. Then how he had to destroy the machine despite how much he didn't want to.

“So you don't know who you called back?” Wendy asked.

Red shook his head, “No, I just know that whoever it was, I loved them.” He frowned, and tried not to cry again.

Natsu stood up and fist pumped triumphantly. “Well on the bright side, you got some memories back! So at least that's progress!” The fire mage got a silly grin on his face. Red couldn't help but smile back, Natsu’s grin was simply contagious.

By now the sun was almost completely risen, and it was time to head to the guildhall.

“Today’s the day of your first mission Red!” Lucy cheered. “Aren't you excited?!”

Red nodded, “though I'm mainly eager to see what else my magic can do! Speaking of which, I need to talk to Levy!” They all ran to the guildhall which was already beginning to fill up with people. The moment Red entered the building he ran towards the library. He swung the door open and glanced around the room until he spotted Levy.

“Hey, shrimp! You got a visitor!” Called the voice of Gajeel. Levy looked up from her mountain of books and saw Red standing in the doorway.

“Red! Come here! I didn't quite find what's in your hand but I think this can help!” She gestured for him to sit next to her.

Red walked down the stairs and sat down, he looked over at the book Levy currently had her nose in.

Levy read it out loud to him. “Lacrima implantation: There are many different examples of wizards having lacrimas implanted into their bodies. The procedure is very dangerous, and multiple test subjects have lost their lives when having the implantation performed on them. Those who have been successful however have large amounts of magic power, the lacrima even strengthens the body that its been planted into. Some go through the procedure to get a powerful lacrima implanted in order to cure a deathly illness. These lacrimas are normally planted into the ethernano containers that lie within their bodies. It's extremely rare to find someone who has the lacrima exposed outside of their body. The effects of having an out lacrima is currently unknown.” She read. Then Levy looked at Red, “And a takeover lacrima is almost completely unheard of! So you're truly one of a kind!” She squealed with joy. “I'm so glad I'm the first who’ll get to research you!”

Red smiled meekly, “So is that all then?” He asked.

Levy sighed, “Yeah, unfortunately.” She leaned back in her chair.

“Ok well I'm great full for the help Levy! Thank you!” Red smiled at her.

Levy smirked slightly, “It's kinda refreshing to have someone as polite as you in the guild.” She then looked over at Gajeel and made sure the muscular man saw her looking.

“Hmf!” Gajeel grunted and crossed his arms.

Red laughed a little, “Well it's the least I can do after all you've done for me!” Red then got up and left the library. He walked over to the front table and asked Mira for a big breakfast.

“Coming right up!” She smiled. Then suddenly she noticed that Red's arm was different. “Wow! So you have takeover magic! That's great! That's the type of magic I have!” She stated happily.

Red looked at her in surprise. “Really? You have magic too? I just thought you worked here!” He rubbed the back of his head, feeling a little dumb for not noticing.

“It’s fine!” She giggled. “My main takeover is known as Satan Soul!” 

This time Red was really shocked. “What!? S-Satan Soul?! But… You're so nice!” He stuttered out.

Mira laughed, “That's most people's reaction to hearing my magic! It's fairly powerful! In fact I'm an S-class mage of Fairy Tail!” She beamed.

Red was in awe. ‘She's so cool!’ He thought to himself.

“Anyway it seems you can only transform your arm. That reminds me of how my brother used to be!” Mira claimed pointing at a huge man over on the other side of the guildhall.

“That's your brother?!” Red was baffled by how different they looked, well besides their hair colour.

“Yep!” She chirped. “Anyway your breakfast is almost done here. So don't go anywhere!”

While Red waited for his breakfast, he took the time to look around at a few of the other members. Some notable ones were a girl who was basically topless, drinking booze out of a large barrel when it was only morning. There was also two men arguing, one had short blue hair and a mustache, and the other had short blondish hair and was smoking a pipe. Then there was a girl with long, light purple hair, and glasses, talking to another girl who had short, dark purple hair. There were three people, two men and a woman, sitting around a rather muscular man with spiky blonde hair. Then there was Mira’s brother, who appeared to be sitting with a girl who had short, white, hair. There certainly were a lot of strange individuals in this guild.

“Eat up!” Mira cheered as she placed the large plate full of breakfast foods in front of Red. The boy ate it quickly, enjoying every bite.

“Thank you Mirajane!” He said to the woman.

Just then the master walked up to Red with a flyer in his hand. “I've picked out a job that I think would be perfect for you at the moment! And of course I've selected a few people to go with you!” Stated the old man, handing the flyer over to Red. He took the flyer from the master and read it out loud.

“Help me find my dog! Reward 1,000 Jewel! Address: Hargeon, st. Peters street, house 230. He has no sense of direction and since we moved to a new town he's been getting lost constantly! But this time I can't find him and I need a bit of help…” Red looked up from the flyer. “You want me to play dogcatcher?” He quirked an eyebrow at the old man.

The master chuckled, “Your arm needs a bit of work yet! It would be best if you did something simple! It's simple enough that I'm sure you could do it on your own but I'm sending Levy and Gajeel with you just in case!”

Red cocked his head to the side. “Not to be rude but, why those two?” He asked.

“Well you already seem to be good friends with them! I would have sent you with Natsu and Lucy but somebody else requested them for another job.” Told the old man. “Though Gajeel is a bit difficult sometimes, but I'm sure you'll get along… Hopefully.” The elderly man replied.

Red nodded, “Ok I'll go get them!” He stated. He turned around and was about to head to the library.

“Oh no need child!” Interrupted the master. “I already told them so that you wouldn't have to try and convince Gajeel by yourself.”

Red felt someone tap his shoulder, he turned around to see Levy smiling at him. Gajeel was standing behind her.

“Let's get this over with.” Grunted the muscular man.

Red smiled at them, “Thank you both for helping me! I really appreciate it!”

Gajeel looked away, “Whatever.”

Levy glared up and the black haired grump. “No need to be so rude!” She looked over at Red, “We're happy to help!”

“Alright! Now where's this Hargeon place?” Red asked, looking at the sheet of paper.

“It's just a quick train ride there! C’mon I'll show you!” Levy gestured for Red to follow her and he happily obeyed.

The three of them, or four counting Lily, arrived at the train station and caught the first train to Hargeon. Red stared out the window, watching the landscape zoom by them. Levy turned to Red and noticed his rather calm attitude.

“So Red, how do you feel about going on your first job?” She asked him.

Red glanced over at her then looked back out the window. “Well it’s just a dog catching job right? So I’m not too excited.” He shrugged. Levy puffed her cheeks out at this.

“Well you could at least be a bit excited.” She huffed. “You can’t exactly control your magic yet. I mean look! Your arm still hasn't gone back to normal yet, you need to get a better grip on your powers before you do the more difficult jobs.”

Red sighed, “I guess you have a point.” He slumped in his seat and closed his eyes. He slept for the rest of the ride.

They arrived at Hargeon and talked with their client. Once they got the information needed they split up in order to look for the dog.. 

“How am I even going to catch a dog with my arm being like this?” Red questioned himself.

Red was currently searching around a nearby forest, calling for the dog and asking anyone he meets if they’ve seen him. But most people who saw him kept their distance once they noticed his grotesque arm.

Red stopped in his tracks, he could hear the faintest sound of whimpering. He creeped around listening closely, and followed the source of the sound. He eventually found himself creeping up to a bush, he could hear the whimpering loud and clear from behind the flora. Then suddenly the sound stopped completely. Red was a little concerned by this so he quickly pushed the bushes out of the way only to reveal a dog laying on it's side, limp, cold, and lifeless.

Red didn't know what to do. He picked to dog up and felt around its body to see if there was any warmth at all. But it was dead. Red felt tears form in his eyes, he looked at the name tag that was attached to a silver chain that hung loosely around the dog's neck. He wasn't exactly sure why he was crying, he wasn't familiar with this dog, he didn't even know the owner well enough to feel bad for them. But he felt hot tears roll down his face. He continued to stare at the name tag that was tinted with frost. It was starting to get really cold. He then noticed that the dog was covered in bruises. 

“Someone killed him” Red whispered to himself. The then felt a hand on his shoulder, Red didn't turn around to see who it was, but he felt a familiar warmth from that hand.

“Cosimo probably did it. ‘Cause the audience likes you more than him.” Came the voice of the hand’s owner.  
“He hates when people are better than him. He’s got no talent, except when it comes to stuff like this.”

Red still didn't look up, he felt as though he didn't need too. 

“He was an old dog. He wouldn't have lived much longer anyway. It's all right.” The voice spoke quietly as to try and calm Red down.  
“Oh my! You're covered in bruises too, aren't you? Did Cosimo beat you up?”

Red didn't answer, instead he asked a question of his own. “Aren't… You gonna cry? He lived with you for a long time didn't he? Aren’t you sad?” There was small moment of silence in response, then the other voice spoke up.

“So sad I could die. But I can't cry. Maybe my tears are all dried up. They just won't come.” The voice told with sorrow in its words.

“What was his name?” Red asked. Despite the fact that he had been staring at the name tag, he couldn't quite make out the word on the small piece of metal.

There was no response.

“I didn't know him at all. So how come... I’m crying over him?” Red asked between sobs.

“Red!” Called out a new voice. But Red was too busy crying to care.

“Red!” The voice called out again. Red continued to ignore it. 

“RED!” The voice yelled, this finally got the boy to look up. He saw Levy and Gajeel standing over him. Levy had a concerned look on her face, while Gajeel wore an expression of confusion. 

Red wiped his tears away and sniffed, “I’m sorry guys! I don't know what happened, but he's dead!” He cried.

The two wizards just stared at him, Gajeel was the first to speak.  
“Uuh… Kid, that dog is clearly breathin’, so what are you going on about?” The tall man questioned. 

Red looked down at the dog in his arms, only to see that it was very much alive. There were no bruises, and there was no chain collar. Red stared at the happy, living dog in shock.  
“But I- what just- who was-” Red began tripping over his own words, struggling to form a sentence.

“Red, are you okay?” Levy asked, deeply concerned for the troubled boy. But before he could say anything in reply, Levy gasped. “Red! Your arm, It's back to normal now!” 

Red looked down at his left arm. Levy was right, it was back to it's smaller, red, scaley state. “O-oh.. Huh, I guess it is. But-”

Levy cut him off, “You found the dog, AND your hand is back! We really killed two birds with one stone here!” The bookworm cheered. She then extended her hand to the boy. “Here I'll help you up!”

Red took her hand in his and pulled himself up, carrying the dog with his other arm. The two were still giving Red strange looks, but Red figured that was only the normal reaction to seeing someone break down crying for no reason. He was curious as to what had just happened to him, he himself couldn't quite remember what is was actually. 

‘Someone was talking to me… And it was really cold for some reason… But what did they say? And why was it so chilly?’ Red thought to himself. He followed Levy and Gajeel out of the forest and into the town. He continued to search his mind for answers but found none. Eventually they arrived at the client's house and returned his dog, they collected their reward and made their way to the train station. Still lost in thought, Red found himself bumping into people on the way there. 

Their train arrived and they climbed aboard. Once they got into their seats there was a thick tension in the air. Nobody wanted to bring up what had happened back in the forest. Levy kept quiet, and so did Gajeel. Red simply nodded off to sleep and dreamt of nothing but a cold winter day, crying next to a dog whose name he didn’t know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately this took a bit longer than planned. I hope to get the next one out a bit quicker.


	4. A Smiling Premonition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Someone who takes pity on demons. Someone who does their best to please others, even if it means putting yourself down. Like a clown you make yourself trip and fall in order to bring a smile on someone else's face. That is what makes you such a fool."

“Master, we’ve returned from our mission!” Levy claimed as she approached master Makarov. 

“I assume it was a success?” Asked the elderly man.

Levy nodded in response. “But you see, something… Strange happened with Red while we were there.” Levy started, she hesitated for a second before continuing. “You see, he kind of broke down crying when he found the dog. He told us it was dead when it was clearly alive. For whatever reason this made his hand go back to normal. He hasn't said a word about what had happened and I'm pretty worried for him.” 

“That is rather strange.” The old man replied. “I suggest that it would be best to find a way to check his mental health. Polyusica is a medical expert but I'm not sure if she's experienced in mental care.”

Levy nodded, “But it wouldn't hurt to check with her, just in case.” She stated. “I'll go ask her to give him a check up. Make sure you get someone to keep an eye on him!” 

Makarov grinned, “Don't worry child, I'll be sure to leave him in the best of hands!”

Meanwhile, Red was digging into a massive meal prepared by the barmaid Kinana. He looked up when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Looking down at him was a tall green haired man with a beauty mark underneath his left eye. Red swallowed the food in his mouth and patiently waited for the other to introduce himself.

“Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you! I am Freed Justine, a member of this guild. I've been told by master Makarov that you're new here and don't have a good hold on your magic yet. Is this correct?” 

Red simply nodded, ever since he joined he’s been approached by people nonstop. So he's been getting used to the whole routine. The man named Freed then smiled at him. 

“I apologize if this may seem rude, but I've been instructed by the master to keep an eye on you and make sure your ok.” 

‘Oh great’ Red thought to himself, ‘Someone to babysit me. I understand that they're being nice but I don't need to be coddled.’ 

Freed started to speak again. “If you don't mind I thought it might be a good idea for you to meet with Cana.” 

“Who?” Red asked.

“Cana is also a member of the guild. She uses card magic and is an expert at telling fortunes with tarot cards. You're also having memory problems right? Perhaps she can help tell you a bit about yourself.” Freed suggested.

Red thought about it for a second. “That might actually be a good idea.” Red stuffed the rest of his food in his mouth and followed Freed over to a table where a brown haired girl sat. The brunette wore nothing but a pair of brown pants and a blue bikini top. She had been drinking out of a huge barrel when she noticed the two approaching her. Setting the barrel down next to her, she looked up and grinned at them. 

“Hey there! You're the new guy right? Mira told me a bit about’cha! You're actually pretty cute!” The brunette winked at Red. The boy in question seemed to ignore this comment.

“Mister Freed here says that you might be able to help me figure a few things out about myself. He said that you’re capable of using the tarot to tell fortunes.” Red wasn't exactly too sure how much help this particular woman would be. Red didn’t like to be one to judge, but a drunk, half naked, flirt, didn't seem like the type of person who would be able to dig up his old memories.  
“So uh, we were going to ask if it would be possible for your ability to find some memories that I lost. I’m not sure if you’ve been told but I don’t exactly remember anything about myself.”

Cana rested her head on her hand for a moment to think. “Well, my natural ability of reading the tarot can’t do anything like that…” She spoke. Red hanged his head at this, it was worth a shot, but to no avail. “...But with the help of my own magic I could probably be a bit of help! Though I can’t promise that what I find will be one hundred percent accurate.” She mused. Red’s head snapped back up, a big smile spread across his face.

“This is definitely good news.” Freed stated, smiling down at Red. The other nodded frantically at this.

Cana laughed, “Carefull there, you’ll give yourself whiplash! Now sit down so I can read you.” the brunette gestured at the bench on the other side of the table she was sitting at. Red took a seat and waited patiently for the other to read him. “Put your hands on the table.” She demanded, Red complied and placed both of his hands onto the wooden surface. 

“Are you going to read my palms like a fortune teller?” Red asked.

Cana chuckled, “Not quite, though I will need to hold your hands for my magic to work on you.”

Red nodded and Cana grabbed ahold of his hands. There was a moment of complete silence. Cana had her eyes closed and seemed to be in deep concentration. Red then felt a strange spark hit him, it felt like a shock of static but there was something distinctly different about it.

‘This must be her magic.’ Red thought to himself as he stared at the brunett. It looked almost as if her hair was floating upwards. As if wind was gently pushing it around. But Red could feel no breeze. After a moment all of this ceased and Cana looked directly into Red’s eyes.

“Someone who takes pity on demons. Someone who does their best to please others, even if it means putting yourself down. Like a clown you make yourself trip and fall in order to bring a smile on someone else's face. I see a circus within your past. But most of what I should be able to see is obscured by a shadow that smiles. I see many people aswell, but all are unidentifiable.” Cana spoke as if she were chanting. Her words were ominous but the odd way in which she was speaking had Red mesmerized. 

“That was… Odd.” Freed chimed in. Noticing the abnormal way Cana told this particular fortune. “This isn't what your normal readings are like.”

Cana clutched onto her head. “Uhg, yeah I know, it was weird.” She turned to look at the boy in front of her. “Do me a favor and never need me to use my magic on you again. That was beyond weird. Agh, I think I have a headache now.” Groaned the brunette as she continued to hold her own head.

Red looked down sheepishly. “Sorry, I didn't know it would put you through pain.”

“Don't sweat it kid. It's just a simple headache.” Cana waved off the others apologies. “Now you better think about what I just said there! There's a chance it could be important.”

Red nodded and stood up from his seat. “Well thanks for helping Cana. I really appreciate it.” He smiled at her.

Cana just picked up her barrel of booze before muttering a quick, “Yeah, yeah.”

Red and Freed walked away from the table. Freed looked at Red an opened his mouth to speak, but before he could Red hung his head and said, “A lot of what she said clicked with me, but some of that was frightening. I take pity on demons? A smiling shadow obscured my past?” Red placed a hand on his head, he seemed a little worried, and a little meaning a lot.

Freed looked down at the boy, genuinely concerned for his guildmate. Red then looked up at Freed, determination in his eyes.

“Is there anyone who could train me to use my magic properly? I need to get the hang of this if I ever want to get my memories back!” The boy claimed.  
Freed smiled and any worry he had felt before melted away.

‘This child will be just fine’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey remember when I said "the next chapter will be up soon!" ?  
> Well yeah, 4 months later us apparently "soon"  
> Sorry about taking so long! And this chapter was quite a bit shorter than the others too. So I'll try and make the next one quicker! Emphisis on "try"


	5. Changing the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Never stop, keep walking.’ He never truly understood what those words meant until now.

“Straighten your back! No slouching! The curve of your spine will disrupt the flow of magic to your arm!”  
Yelled out a certain scarlet haired mage.

“YES MA'AM!”  
Obeyed the scar faced boy that she’d been ordering around.  
It had been a week since Red had gotten his fortune told by Cana. After the incident, he went ahead and asked Erza to train him to use his magic properly. It had been going fairly well for the most part. The only complaint that Red had was that she was so damn rough! Her training methods had been putting him through the most stress he’s experienced in his whole week and a half of memory!

“Now, focus all your power and will into your arm and picture it changing into its beastly form!” Erza commanded.

Red complied and put all of his might into activating his arm. Could this be the first time he was able to activate it properly?  
“GRRRRAAAAAAH!!” Red let out a mighty roar, or maybe just a pitiful grunt, as he felt power surging through his left arm. However, it was all for naught. Red’s arm was only halfway there. Grotesque and twisted looking. The black claws weren't quite formed, his wrist looked painfully twisted, and the whole thing still had a slightly reddish hue to it. Red looked at the thing and pouted.

Erza just shook her head.  
“Not this time either huh? We’ll try again tomorrow, for the rest of today though I want you concentrating you power into that arm constantly! Keeping this concentration will make it easier for you to collect that power the next time you try and use your magic.” 

Red nodded and looked at their surroundings. They had been training in a forest outside Magnolia as to not disturb anyone in town.  
“Well, I guess we should head back then.”  
Red was about to start walking out of the forest when Erza asked him the question which he dreaded so much.

“How have your dreams been?”

Red froze.  
How was he supposed to answer that?  
“Um they're… well…” Red trailed off before he could even begin. He took a deep breath. “They haven't been much better since that last nightmare. It’s the same dream every night, over and over again. But when I'm asked if I want to bring ‘him’ back, I try to do something else. I try to see if there was any way I could have avoided it. But I always wake up before I find out.”

Erza simply nodded then began walking out of the forest. Red was quick to follow her. They walked together through the town in complete silence. Red decided to break the tension.

“It's too bad Levy couldn't get any dream remedies from miss Polyusica huh?”

Erza shook her head, “Sadly, I knew that she wouldn't be able to stop your nightmares. Trust me I used to try and get her to make a medicine for the same purpose, but there just wasn't anything she could do.”

Red looked at her, slightly surprised, “You used to have nightmares?” he had a hard time imagining the scarlet haired beast before him have troubles with fear of any sort.

She nodded, “Yes, and I still sometimes do…” she paused for a moment. “However I haven't had nightmares for a while now. That’s probably because the source of my terrors isn't something I have reason to fear anymore.” Erza smiled to herself.

“Oh?” Red was curious now, “What was it then?” he asked.

Erza gave him a confused look.

“I mean what were you having nightmares about?” Red clarified.

“Ah, well it was actually both a place and a friend of mine.” she stated. “As a child, I was a slave in a place known as the R-System, or The Tower of Heaven. One of my friends ended up losing their minds there and kept everyone who was a slave trapped there. All except me he sent me away from the tower and promised that if I told a soul about him having captives there he would kill my friends.”

“Wow, I’m sorry Erza.” Red felt bad for even asking.

“Oh no, it’s quite alright. The friend who had done that is a good man now. He’s kind, compassionate, and regrets all that he has done... Though to be quite honest, his regret can never change the past. I wish he would stop mourning and trying to atone, and instead make the most of what he has.”

Red nodded his head. That made him think of his own problems. But he didn’t want to focus on the nightmares any longer. So Red simply looked forward at the buildings ahead as they wandered into Magnolia. 

‘Never stop, keep walking.’ is all he could think about. Why? He didn’t know. All he knew is that whenever he said them to himself he felt something spark within him. He thought of these words to calm himself down after a nightmare. Whenever he felt unsure of whether he would ever get his memory back, he said those words. They were all he had to comfort himself.

As he and Erza strolled throughout the town together he saw a show going o at the side of the road. There was a clown entertaining a group of children. Red couldn’t help but stare for a while, watching the smiling faces of the children, and the face of the clown as he made fun balloon animals for them. And before he new it, he was walking over to the group. Erza continued walking down the road, not realizing that Red was no longer following her. When he approached the crowd he simply gazed at the now juggling clown in amazement, then at the children who wore balloon hats as big as their own smiles. The whole scene made him feel nostalgic and, well… happy! Though a wave of embarrassment washed over him when he saw a few of the children look at up at him, and he realised he was the oldest one there. Then it got worse when one of the kids spoke up.

“Are you a clown too mister?” chimed the voice of a child. 

“Uh-I-No, I’m not a clown! I was just watching and-”

“But you have red face markings too see!” said another child as they pointed at his face.

Red didn’t know how to respond at this point. He was just trying to hide his embarrassment as a section of the children was now all looking at him and his weird “face markings.” He almost felt like just making a mad dash outta there. When suddenly he heard a squeaking sound and something get shoved onto his head. Red looked up and was surprised to see that the clown himself had placed a balloon hat upon his head! He looked at Red and the other children before speaking.

“Just because he’s a bigger kid doesn’t mean you should pick on him.” claimed the smiling clown as he went back to juggling. And with that, the children stopped surrounding Red and went back to watching the performance. Red watched too, he was mesmerised by the performance, maybe he was just a little kid.

After a while the performance came to an end, and all the kids started leaving with their parents. Quite a bit of money was left in the clowns top hat. Even Red had thrown a few jewel in there. Before he got up to leave, Red saw the clown picking all the props he had been using up off the ground and packing them into a bag. Red decided to stay and help him, as he picked up some props he noticed the juggling balls on the ground in front of him. For whatever reason, Red felt the need to drop the other props and pick of the balls. He grabbed four of them and started tossing them in the air just as the clown did. Each sphere flew from his hands rhythmically, he was juggling with such ease it was almost magical! It was then that the clown had noticed that Red was helping him, and it was also when he saw the boy juggling as if he had been doing it all his life. 

“Amazing! It’s either you’re lying about not being a clown or you just have natural talent! But you’re juggling better than I ever have!” the clown praised him.

Red snapped out of his trance and caught all the balls he’d been tossing. “Oh, uh, really? I had just been picking them up for you then uuh, that kinda happened. Sorry about that!”

“Sorry? Child there's no need to apologize, I think it's rather nice you even bothered to help.”

Red shook his head and smiled. “I just figured since you helped me and gave me this hat, that I would help you clean up.”

The clown chuckled, “You know, you’re a real good kid.” 

Red stayed silent for a moment before he spoke, “Not really, when I wa really little… I hurt someone I loved. Now I’ll never know if they forgive me for what I’d done.” After that there was a long quiet lul. 

“Well… you aren't hurting anyone now are you?” The clown spoke up and asked.

Red shook his head, “No…?” he was a little confused by the question.

“Then you’re a good kid.”

Red was even more confused now. “What do you mean?”

“Take it from someone with experience, child. Whatever you did to your friend cannot be undone. Nobody can change the past so now we must live with and overcome our mistakes. The truth is, even if there was a way of avoiding whatever tragedy you faced back then, there’s nothing you can do about it now, no use dwelling on it.”

Red was taken aback. He didn’t expect such a response from the other, he really didn’t know what to say. However, the clown’s words reminded him of what he’d been telling himself for the past few days. ‘Never stop, keep walking.’ He never truly understood what those words meant until now. Red was about to turn around to face the clown. But the man was already walking away, his bag fully packed. So Red just shouted what he wanted to say instead.

“THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!” was all Red needed to say. The clown turned around for a moment and smiled before he continued on his way.

Red watched the clown walk away until he was completely out of sight. It was then that he realized just how late it was. The sky was a dazzling shade of orange as the sun was setting. The others might be getting worried about him. So Red turned around and began marching his way to the guildhall. But just as he did, he heard multiple voices yelling.

“RRREEEEEEEDD!! WHERE ARE YOOUU REEEEDD!?”  
Red saw around four people and a cat running through the streets calling out his name. He easily identified them as Erza, Natsu, Lucy, Levy, and Happy. Happy whipped his head around, scanning the area and spotted Red.

“I found him guys!” shouted the cat while he pointed at the boy. All four of them ran straight towards him and tackled the poor child.

“We were wondering where you disappeared to, little buddy!” Natsu claimed, hugging the boy so hard he was squeezing the life out of him.

“I didn't realized you weren't following me until I got back to the guild! You had me worried you little runt!” Erza cursed at him.

“I was so looking forward on studying you today! How could you just leave like that!” Cried Levy.

“You’re not hurt are you? Oooh, you had us so worried Red!” Lucy fretted.

Red stared at all their faces for a moment. He felt… warm, happy, loved. He smiled at them and chirped.

“I’m sorry, everyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a pretty good time making this chapter! More will be on the way eventually! Hope you enjoyed it :)


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